Mind Under Matter


Hearing the Fall

Closing this door was easier than I expected. I actually did not even take a second glance at you to watch the light wash from your eyes. You never understood the depth of what I ever thought, and you seamlessly walked forward believing to yourself that you never felt it either.

The amount of insensitivity in your breath and tact gives me enough momentum in my grip to find great sensation as I hear bone splinter, plunging this steel into your left ear. Oddly enough your expression as you sleep looks benignly the same as it did before I ever stepped into this room.

Did you really believe that I would just sit in my abode and ingest the parade that you put on in front of me? Did you actually find this part of the story to be more of a dessert than that of the main course?

Now that your head has more of an open view, you can hear the things that were dancing outside your door. Maybe the splitting of your matter can permeate inside, finally to water the thoughts that you once believed to be true.

As it goes to say ‘too much, too little now’ is the lullaby that is singing you to sleep. Hearing the point embed into what I understood to be the back of your skull was the graffiti I needed to leave in your mind, reminding you of those fairer days when words into ears carried more than the weight of a lash.

Hard was the fall dear, and the sentiment paints heavily upon your brow.

Excerpt from “Hearing The Fall” – Entries of Ava Grace, The Illustrated Journal 2013

Too much too little now.

Around a week ago I woke up about 4 am with this song in my head in my room, well I had only played the loud version for the record prior – sometimes during evening mix sessions I would have dreams about arrangements I had worked on, they would just keep replaying over and over. I grabbed my guitar next to my bed and began playing through it acoustically a few times and It ended up kind of slow and lullaby-esque. More creepy and eerie, like a dazed narrative.

It wasn’t 10 more minutes and I was stumbling around setting up my mics in the corner of my room to just kind of do a half live / half tracked recording. Anyhow 2 hours later I had a few mixes that I felt were personal enough to use, not perfect – but real enough that I believed put a closing twist on the  song.

A reprise of sorts. It’s weird how you can wake in the middle of the night and find strange inspiration to just grab and go, and that’s how the best leaps in creativity happen. We’ll that and a little bit of crazy mixed in.

Hope your today is all you hoped it to be.

Ma chérie rouge.

C’est fini ma chérie rouge.

Finished up all of the actual music recording last night for the Bad Girlfriend Red EP. I will probably rest my ears for a few days and then I will start digging into the masters. I’d like to go back and listen to the tracks that were recorded in November of last year and probably make some adjustments here and there.

The more that I have worked with producing music in the last few months I find myself really opening up to manipulating the sounds in different ways. It’s interesting that as you train your ear to the sounds that you want to hear, the more you can work with the tracks as a whole and mold them into the productions that you see and want them to be.

My razor symphony

This last month I have been tied up working on music for my concept record Bad Girlfriend Red. BGR comes from a shade of red that I named in my Photoshop palette used in a lot of my illustrative pieces. I tend to gravitate to this color constantly when I am working on digital art or edits. It has a warm draping feel but to me still exudes a sense of dangerous thinking.

The music on Bad Girlfriend Red will be telling the story of a woman who has decided to stalk and kill her past lovers that have wronged her maliciously. This is fiction of course, but I think that telling it in a way with song, lyric and illustrations will paint a strong design of revenge that can be detailed, dark and exciting. It is teaching me to step out of the box, write and sing about something that has not happened. And to do it passionately.

despiteI want a sinister story. I want to paint a tale that is not pretty to look at – besides her of course, even covered in death – she will always remain elegant and in control (as far as you know now). It’s about being pushed to where your morals become altered, to where one feels justified in committing murder – compelling the listener to feel that, hear that and see that. By using music we can take thoughts and actions that are bad, communicate them with the feeling of hopelessness and necessity – and by this method, convince the listener that this is something that needs to happen.

Wrong and offensive as it may be, when she dons the dress colored ‘Bad Girlfriend Red’ – this is the time when instead of allowing her past connections to have power over her, she now has the power over them. So be it if dismemberment and bloodshed are the fuel required to maintain what she thinks is ‘her sanity’.

Ankle Deep is the first ‘official’ arrangement that I have finished up for this, and in the lyrics I want you to wonder who the victim is – her or him. I will be posting these videos and downloads as I complete them – like serials. I’m not as much focused on the finished project currently as I am in writing the story along the way.

I have lived my life through a soundtrack already, and now I want to build one of my own.

You can download or share AFE’s track Ankle Deep from the link above.

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