Your mouth is moving.

It’s a flood. It’s suffocating. It doesn’t care how much the words weigh. It sits in the corner of your home and it waits until it can drown out the sounds of the humming fan.  It damages layers at a time. It poisons. It steals the air out of the room. I don’t understand the backwards dialogue that spills out in desperation. Save yourself I suppose.

You won’t win that battle. So find your way to surrender. Give it back. Do something. Repair what is left. I don’t lie. I don’t bend conversations to fit any narrative. I’m guilty of being painfully blunt, and I own that.

It’s a paper-thin veil, and it grows wet with your breath. You chew, you swallow, and it’s gone.

 

“You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.” – Carl Jung

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Scripting on the sails.

Last year I saw a lot of people doing some #PhotoChallenge, 30, 60 or 365 days of whatever daily photos. I pretty much do this all the time with my Tumblr account, and have been for almost 2 years now.

It’s all the fingerprints in the places. 2017 pushed a lot of buttons, and fine tuned tons of emotions. You just really have to take responsibility for the good and bad. And it’s written all over the place. Again like I’ve said – make your place and find your time. You and only you, are the pilot of moving forward.

www.applesforeyes.tumblr.com

“Don’t worry when I argue with you. Worry when I stop.” – Anonymous

2017 over and out.

 

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Last post of the year so it’s time to say farewell to 2017. There was good and bad on all kinds of levels, so I think I may have broken even. I don’t have a lot, but what I do have – I care dearly for. You won’t earn a medal for that but hey who’s passing out medals anyhow.

No time in 2018 for careless nonsense, although I’m sure I’ll write about it.

Plant yourself or change it. You are the only one responsible for that. You want to grow, then it’s time to go. Don’t settle for garbage, you are better than that. Sometimes to make your life you have to be afraid, so don’t worry or regret it – you never know how things could have been.

Take the reigns now.

Some people are just shit.

Learn to recognize garbage.

A lot of personalities bother me, some more than others – but controlling, obsessive, manipulators are by far at the top of the social trash that I absolutely detest. Just a few notes on the following that inspired the comic above, it’s not in jest or crassness – it’s serious profound emotional abuse. Run from this. Always. 

Note 1366
Oh the “you know how I get when I’m angry” type – passive aggressive / nice one minute and standoffish the next, keeping you guessing and playing on your fears and insecurities. The extremely aggressive and vicious, resorting to personal attacks and criticism (‘you deserve this‘), dogged in pursuit of getting what they want. They bully and threaten, and won’t let up or let go until you dissolve down.

Note 1370
Manipulators prey on sensibilities, emotional sensitivity, and especially the conscientiousness. They know they have a good chance of roping you into a relationship because you are a kind, feeling, caring person, and of course – because you want to help.

They may cater to your goodness and heart at first, often praising you for the wonderful person you are. But over time, praise of these qualities will be minimized because you are being used in the service of someone who really doesn’t care about you. They really just care about what you can do for them (or how you can make them feel).

Note 1375
Manipulative people do not understand boundaries. They are relentless in the pursuit of what they want and have little regard for who gets hurt along the way. They usually have plenty of social media ‘on tap’ to justify their persona so that they can always provide proof (mainly to themselves) of ‘how awesome of a person they are‘.

It’s a consuming of your space – physically, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. They lack understanding about what personal identity means. Feeding off of someone, while tearing them down is depleting, exhausting, weakening, and demeaning.

Note 1371
Read people by their actions. Remember, what a person says and does are two very different things. Watch closely – what you see is what you get. And if you listen around just a bit, you’ll probably realize that your gut feeling is usually spot on. Note that.

When someone displays threatening, degrading traits alongside piles of forced emotions (even when saying ‘how much they do love you’) – In my experience I have  found it’s hard to uncover any redeeming qualities. No matter how you interpret it, because I fully understand that sometimes the wires run deep, you should easily spend your efforts on better things. No-one is fucking worth that.

A fucking empty room would still deliver much more good to your head than a person like that ever could. Recognize it. 

They prey on your best qualities.

Is that a stain on your shirt? No it’s just you.

Note 1325
I wish I could put my hand in my bowl of life disasters and hold one up in the air and say “hey I’m glad I got to experience this”. As in – ‘what we go through now, molds us into what we become’. I get it. I understand all of that, in theory it’s plausible. It’s just how many nails do you have to pry out of your limbs and face, over and over again to finally feel like your place in life is hanging where it needs to be.

Everyone falls, everyone fails. Perfection is just not how we are built. Inside or out. It’s knowing when your life begins to turn toxic that you have to decide what to distance yourself from, how soon, and how far.

There are a lot of gutless people out there. A lot of weakness and lies waiting to be served. And an even more amount of half-truths that people have to wake up next to every single fucking day. And why, why even fucking do it. Let’s manipulate and coerce so we can ultimately take over the love that we want. If that love deserves to be there, then you will find it there. The moment you demand it, is the moment that it is already gone.

I don’t understand. And I have no sympathy for certain behavior. I don’t expect to place myself around it, or tolerate it ever again.

 

“Until you’ve lost everything, you’ll never be able to truly love anything.” 

 

 

Your art looks very different from this angle.

.38 Special HP // Minolta SRT

I lack any sympathy for an artist whose creative center revolves around manipulation and malice. Be worrisome of the empathy and compassion you share, because when you hear someone speak and they believe no ones listening – you are apt to see what their head is made of.

I’ve seen enough people fall and never get back up. I’ve seen enough damage never get repaired because of the marks that toxic actions leave behind. Be mindful of how you speak and how you behave, especially when it involves what you think “would be love”.