Free Failing.

black ‘over’ red graph

Unfinished. But also finished. Depression casts its strong shadow, you will never see it coming. I spent a long time playing with this, too much time. My experiences are brutally honest, and if that scares you then tough shit. Get over it.

Gut instinct trumps all, remember that.


Run and set fire.

Note 1379
You feel too much, you shut down. You don’t feel enough, you suck in more. Sometimes you wake up and you hope pianos fall on your head.

Note 1388
Be responsible for change, and accept right now that life owes you nothing.

“There are days that must happen to you.” – W. Whitman


Your mouth is moving.

It’s a flood. It’s suffocating. It doesn’t care how much the words weigh. It sits in the corner of your home and it waits until it can drown out the sounds of the humming fan.  It damages layers at a time. It poisons. It steals the air out of the room. I don’t understand the backwards dialogue that spills out in desperation. Save yourself I suppose.

You won’t win that battle. So find your way to surrender. Give it back. Do something. Repair what is left. I don’t lie. I don’t bend conversations to fit any narrative. I’m guilty of being painfully blunt, and I own that.

It’s a paper-thin veil, and it grows wet with your breath. You chew, you swallow, and it’s gone.


“You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.” – Carl Jung

Scripting on the sails.

Last year I saw a lot of people doing some #PhotoChallenge, 30, 60 or 365 days of whatever daily photos. I pretty much do this all the time with my Tumblr account, and have been for almost 2 years now.

It’s all the fingerprints in the places. 2017 pushed a lot of buttons, and fine tuned tons of emotions. You just really have to take responsibility for the good and bad. And it’s written all over the place. Again like I’ve said – make your place and find your time. You and only you, are the pilot of moving forward.

“Don’t worry when I argue with you. Worry when I stop.” – Anonymous

2017 over and out.


This slideshow requires JavaScript.


Last post of the year so it’s time to say farewell to 2017. There was good and bad on all kinds of levels, so I think I may have broken even. I don’t have a lot, but what I do have – I care dearly for. You won’t earn a medal for that but hey who’s passing out medals anyhow.

No time in 2018 for careless nonsense, although I’m sure I’ll write about it.

Plant yourself or change it. You are the only one responsible for that. You want to grow, then it’s time to go. Don’t settle for garbage, you are better than that. Sometimes to make your life you have to be afraid, so don’t worry or regret it – you never know how things could have been.

Take the reigns now.

Some people are just shit.

Learn to recognize garbage.

A lot of personalities bother me, some more than others – but controlling, obsessive, manipulators are by far at the top of the social trash that I absolutely detest. Just a few notes on the following that inspired the comic above, it’s not in jest or crassness – it’s serious profound emotional abuse. Run from this. Always. 

Note 1366
Oh the “you know how I get when I’m angry” type – passive aggressive / nice one minute and standoffish the next, keeping you guessing and playing on your fears and insecurities. The extremely aggressive and vicious, resorting to personal attacks and criticism (‘you deserve this‘), dogged in pursuit of getting what they want. They bully and threaten, and won’t let up or let go until you dissolve down.

Note 1370
Manipulators prey on sensibilities, emotional sensitivity, and especially the conscientiousness. They know they have a good chance of roping you into a relationship because you are a kind, feeling, caring person, and of course – because you want to help.

They may cater to your goodness and heart at first, often praising you for the wonderful person you are. But over time, praise of these qualities will be minimized because you are being used in the service of someone who really doesn’t care about you. They really just care about what you can do for them (or how you can make them feel).

Note 1375
Manipulative people do not understand boundaries. They are relentless in the pursuit of what they want and have little regard for who gets hurt along the way. They usually have plenty of social media ‘on tap’ to justify their persona so that they can always provide proof (mainly to themselves) of ‘how awesome of a person they are‘.

It’s a consuming of your space – physically, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. They lack understanding about what personal identity means. Feeding off of someone, while tearing them down is depleting, exhausting, weakening, and demeaning.

Note 1371
Read people by their actions. Remember, what a person says and does are two very different things. Watch closely – what you see is what you get. And if you listen around just a bit, you’ll probably realize that your gut feeling is usually spot on. Note that.

When someone displays threatening, degrading traits alongside piles of forced emotions (even when saying ‘how much they do love you’) – In my experience I have  found it’s hard to uncover any redeeming qualities. No matter how you interpret it, because I fully understand that sometimes the wires run deep, you should easily spend your efforts on better things. No-one is fucking worth that.

A fucking empty room would still deliver much more good to your head than a person like that ever could. Recognize it. 

They prey on your best qualities.