The Fall air is cathartic. I get it, probably more this year than the others. Kind of like having your elbows bent back as far as they can go, and the wind makes the day easier. I leave for 4 days out with a band from Australia over the next week. As long I keep moving I can untie all the bullshit that tries to hang on. Stay charged. Stay extremely direct. Remember that all of this will be overwritten.
Unloading gear last week in an alley outside the venue, a band mate approaches me and says “Hey dude your ex is here”.
I simply replied, “which one.”
Sometimes there is so much going on at one time you really have to marvel at the fact that you don’t begin to start throwing things. Armor up, big eyes on. It’s all in the center of your chest, that is what matters the most. When you achieve the right amount of momentum you will come to realize that in fact, all along, you will shed this. It’s ok.
You keep pushing and eventually it will break, and it’s only a mess if you see it that way. I’m ok with the fallout (even though it reminds me of swallowing glass), I’m pretty use to it. When you look back and understand that all the lackluster merit that was exposed in that personality, the layers that were pulled back, the whole underneath it all – it makes much more sense that you just go ahead and wire yourself to that street light pole, weather the strong air and totally observe that everything that is of any worth at all in the big picture will find its way to where it needs to be. Own your actions, wear them well because even though you may be good at playing dress up for the puppet show – people see the lines. They will read those lines. In between all of them it’s like a lit marquee. And occasionally that flowing story spilling out of your ears is more fitting for the grit behind your teeth than the polish on your nails.