As with our first wave of cold in central Texas comes the repeating wave of nostalgia that comes along side that. It again is like pulling a record from a sleeve, powering up the player and hoping that the needle will skip or scratch so that you cannot listen to it any further. And the good, well there always is some – I get the chills, the amped endorphins, the deep breaths that understand to prepare me for the B-sides that are going to play.
When packing up boxes you are undeniably going to run across things that will be like wires constricting tightly around your wrists. Where you can look down and feel your pulse open wide, your vision tunnels and then you are there.
But you know it’s ok. When I look at my own story book I know inside that I did everything I could possibly do. I fully understand where I slipped and fell and that’s ok. Life’s only living when you have the falls and failures. It’s these things that make up human understanding denoting that we are ‘not perfect’.
I don’t have to lose any sleep wondering ‘had I said this, or that’. I’ve said it all. I’ve given it all – over and over again. I’ve sung about it, written about it and yelled about it.
Change happens on its own, driven by its own throttle. It’s never the same for anyone, that’s why I choose to only speak to very few when It comes to certain matters. I don’t expect anything, I find things become much too difficult when that part of the mind revs up. It’s very unrealistic and cynical and I know, that we all want what we want – some feel it, some don’t – some will act on it, some wont.
And I’ve acted a good part, I put my stories to all those who stayed till the end of the night’s bar closing special. That last drink is always something that you can never get enough of.
As were you.
Currently working on two songs that I will publish here on the site, Jawbreakers “Chemistry” and my own final chapter to the story “Bite Lip Beautiful” that I have been closing with at the last few shows.