Someone once said “it’s always better to be in the dark, because in the dark there is always hope”. It seems that in an almost backwards type of mentality we can live in distress, and be able to swallow it in smaller pieces by creating a grain of light at the end of said ‘tunnel’. This light is supposed to be our hope. It’s planted as the seed of ‘the drive’ that should be the fuel in which to carry you on to continue the fight. Now I think that this could be a helpful fire starter, keeping you focused and motivated, but what I do not like is at some point you will eventually be led out of your dark. And I mean that in the best “oh hey here is the fruit of your labor” type of way…

And after such fight is done, we are to deal with the reality of things maybe not being what they seemed like they would or should be. So this in turn becomes a two-fold layer of emptied and or expended effort on all parts. Now I’m no fan of the light (as far as writing and inspiration). Everything I have published here has been ‘inherently’ dark. But as a human being, I know that we need the light to be complete. It is just something that is integral to our well-being. And when I say ‘light’ I am referring to what ever it is that makes you feel like getting up the next day, contentment and so forth.

So after fighting like a lion, to our hearts desire – I suppose you really have to just live in the now. My whole life has been surrounded by struggle. It’s what I know. No I don’t just mean physical challenges, I mean the inside challenges. What then becomes to bloom as a cornucopia of depression, is when you have done everything the best you could, shared it the most intensely as you can, believed, fought, leaned on that hope at the end of the dark – that once and finally this really did all mean something…

And then you hit the concrete. In a flash it really only lived as much as a stone did 20,000 leagues down on some darkened sea bed. Perfectly built, perfectly laid, and diligently told in a manner that showed passion and promise. I just don’t understand that, it really has never made sense. What it does is it takes the dim light out of the dark, and just leaves you with the dark.

And that’s hardly a life. Even for a fan of the dark.


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