A gift

I really enjoy the ends of the year, but not so much the holidays that roll with them. I guess that in some people’s worlds these rituals are the highlight of the months endeavors dragging out what then eventually turns into what we have as ‘new resolutions’ to change things in the upcoming months that we never much incline on to do anyways. Save make yourself feel better, and what not. -random

I’ve been working on what I am contributing to as the last song and what is effectively called “Last Song” as my kind of ‘end of the year’ sentence to what is all going on here. Not that I won’t have more things to say, I just really have nothing left to say on this subject anymore. And by ending it with a song, well I really couldn’t do it any other way – in any other manner, that would have carried on a penetrating message in a direction that it needs to go.

So in addition to this last month staying in a dark dormant state, I can only blame myself for dragging a mountain of rocks down onto my own head, effectively burying any kind of emotion that I would rather just keep covered, and in its proper place. Since when the curtains draw close, I still am the only one left singing – and that song is way over sung and way over done, to do this right means to close the lid and nail it shut. It’s what you would have wanted everyone to think, on the outside anyway. And that’s ok.

And here we are, sail away. No fancy rolling credits, no light at the end of the tunnel. No flashy words of wisdom or uplifting strands of hope – just me here singing about the same damn things I have been yelling about for years.

I wish I had more to say to you, but I have said it all ‘this way’ in ‘this manner’ and that’s more than any one could ever guarantee to do in anyone’s life time. Surely a gift for you (who would a known), and for me – another spool of wire to tie myself to things that are best for me to stay far from.

“…every win is cold, and no surprise slips past this razor”.

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