I would like to talk a little about the different sets of songs that I have to chosen to perform, I really don’t wish to post the names of the songs too much since I want people to come out to see me play them. To listen to them, paints only a piece of the picture that I am trying to convey. And if that were the case then I’d say go and listen to their original artists play them.
Trying to cross the performer / audience barrier is very hard sometimes, since no one really knows what one is thinking or how they are perceiving it. Playing a song a certain way, to try to make someone understand more than just what the words are saying is quite an obstacle. I have so much behind every one, that when I play it live – scenes in my head are moving so fastly that to breach that communication barrier, I have to relive a tragedy over and over, every time I play. That really is the only way I can make it not just a bunch of boring misunderstood words. And with that, you may make someone else feel what you are feeling or felt on some kind of level.
I retain so many things in my head about the past, not so much words but vivid raw emotions. More especially things that I miss dearly, things that are so far out of reach that it would be like throwing a dime and trying to knock down a brick wall to ever attain again. There is such a depth of hopelessness in that, that the only possible way to channel that energy somewhere else, is by telling its story in writing, or singing.
This is the soundtrack of some very dark times of my life, times where I couldn’t find which way is up. But also times that caused my heart to race, and skip and flutter. It is so discouraging that in this particular case, one does not exist without the other.
I can’t emphasize enough, that when you do find the one, if you ever do. Hold onto it with everything you have. Don’t forget a moment of those good evenings, let those thoughts saturate the times that are troublesome. Nurture those places that time could never replace or cause to fade. Know that once that feeling fleets, and she leaves – even though it can’t truly be replaced – it really is in fact gone. And that is a fucking travesty, for anyone.
Special thanks to all that came out and supported me on the show Saturday night. I know every time I play, I place another piece of myself in a vulnerable environment. I sincerely appreciate getting to speak to a few of you afterwards and to hear your thoughts and interest on what I am doing.