Programming

I once took some antidepressants for a while. I remember sitting on a patio with a friend and playing guitar outside. It was the first day I had started eating them. I remember it was dark and very green out and I was overlooking some trees. I recall everything being thick. The air, my thoughts, the sounds. Like when I took a breath in I could feel it in slow motion. A lot of people say you will feel like you are in a ‘bubble’. It did feel like that, like a stretchy bubble.

I guess it was only the first day that things were weird. I believe after the reprogramming process is over, you don’t remember what you were. You only know how the way things are suppose to make you feel now. I’m not such a fan of that, even though people said I was a lot more laid back then. So if you are suppose to be laid back, why are you not just laid back as is. Why do you need something to tell your brain how you should feel and deal daily. Programming is exactly what that does. I know during that time, I had no creativity. I had very little drive to make things happen. Things were just as they were. No greater, no less. And it sure did not solve my problems as they were still my down fall in the end.

Maybe some people can’t get a grip and need that push, or pull to make those decisions. Well in fact I know they need it. I am just not one of them. I would rather soar through life with fire under my wings, then smolder in a life that would soon asphyxiate me. But that’s just me.

I will be performing at the Down Town Bar in Victoria Tx Saturday night if all goes well for me until then. Hope to see ya there.

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