Learn to recognize garbage.
A lot of personalities bother me, some more than others – but controlling, obsessive, manipulators are by far at the top of the social trash that I absolutely detest. Just a few notes on the following that inspired the comic above, it’s not in jest or crassness – it’s serious profound emotional abuse. Run from this. Always.
Oh the “you know how I get when I’m angry” type – passive aggressive / nice one minute and standoffish the next, keeping you guessing and playing on your fears and insecurities. The extremely aggressive and vicious, resorting to personal attacks and criticism (‘you deserve this‘), dogged in pursuit of getting what they want. They bully and threaten, and won’t let up or let go until you dissolve down.
Manipulators prey on sensibilities, emotional sensitivity, and especially the conscientiousness. They know they have a good chance of roping you into a relationship because you are a kind, feeling, caring person, and of course – because you want to help.
They may cater to your goodness and heart at first, often praising you for the wonderful person you are. But over time, praise of these qualities will be minimized because you are being used in the service of someone who really doesn’t care about you. They really just care about what you can do for them (or how you can make them feel).
Manipulative people do not understand boundaries. They are relentless in the pursuit of what they want and have little regard for who gets hurt along the way. They usually have plenty of social media ‘on tap’ to justify their persona so that they can always provide proof (mainly to themselves) of ‘how awesome of a person they are‘.
It’s a consuming of your space – physically, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. They lack understanding about what personal identity means. Feeding off of someone, while tearing them down is depleting, exhausting, weakening, and demeaning.
Read people by their actions. Remember, what a person says and does are two very different things. Watch closely – what you see is what you get. And if you listen around just a bit, you’ll probably realize that your gut feeling is usually spot on. Note that.
When someone displays threatening, degrading traits alongside piles of forced emotions (even when saying ‘how much they do love you’) – In my experience I have found it’s hard to uncover any redeeming qualities. No matter how you interpret it, because I fully understand that sometimes the wires run deep, you should easily spend your efforts on better things. No-one is fucking worth that.
A fucking empty room would still deliver much more good to your head than a person like that ever could. Recognize it.
They prey on your best qualities.